


Drunk on You

by Hime_no_Kowai_Shumi



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29210349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hime_no_Kowai_Shumi/pseuds/Hime_no_Kowai_Shumi
Summary: All Addison wants to do the night of her divorce is drink away the pain. Alone. Meredith is ignoring her friends after one of Alex’s comments hits too deep. All she wants to do is be left alone. But when Meredith sees Addison sitting at Joe’s alone, she decides that neither should really be alone right now. When they wake up in bed together the next morning, they attempt to piece the previous night together.
Relationships: Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery, past Derek Shepherd/Addison Montgomery
Comments: 30
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot to tide you all over while I worked on the Red String of Fate AU. But it’s gonna possibly be a two-shot. Meddison, post Addek-divorce S3

_It was ridiculous for her to even be here_. The thought crossed Addison's mind as she sat in Joe's bar, sipping at her second glass of wine of the night. Sauvignon Blanc. White, dry. It burned just slightly on the way down, but she didn't mind. After the last few weeks, she almost enjoyed it. Fleetingly, she had the thought to switch to a sweeter red but decided against it. For tonight, the white would do.

Honestly, she wasn't sure why she was here. Much like her marriage, her shift had ended hours ago. 11 years gone. Over. Just like that. Originally, she'd had the thought to call Mark to celebrate the ending of her loveless marriage, but the more she thought about it, the less she was in any kind of mood for any kind of celebration. Still, he wanted her at least. But she didn't want him. Not anymore. Not since…

The sound of the bell above the door signaled more patron arrivals, and she checked her watch, seeing that, _yes, it was indeed intern quitting time_. She glanced towards the door, a habit she'd picked up waiting for Derek, but it wasn't her ex-husband she was looking for. O'Malley and Stevens came through first, looking exhausted. They'd both had hard cases today, O'Malley working on a peds case and Stevens taking an ER victim; neither case had a good prognosis. Karev came through the door right after them, looking annoyed. She smiled into her wine glass. That may have been her fault; his blunder from working with her yesterday made Bailey put him on scut all day. Yang came through the door next, holding her phone to her ear, and she tried to think if the budding cardiac surgeon had any case today; something with Burke, she was sure, but she quickly lost interest. Because Bailey's group of interns was one short, and she didn't understand the sudden sadness that washed over her. She watched the four interns go to the bar. Briefly, she had the thought of downing her wine just to eavesdrop while she got more but decided against it. That would be childish. And besides, the wine needed to be savored slowly.

So what did she care if Meredith wasn't among her friends? It wasn't like she hadn't seen her this afternoon. The blonde intern had been ignoring Derek just as she had. She'd requested the intern on her service for her first day back after her appendectomy for a reason. And that reason had everything to do with medicine and nothing to do with keeping her away from Derek. Besides, the rumor mill was abuzz with news that Derek had broken up with Meredith after her appendectomy. So, really, it was comradery that she put Meredith on her service. Because they should stick together. At least, that's what she'd explained to the blonde this morning. They weren't friends exactly, more like colleagues, but they'd both been burned by their mutual ex.

And that was all the sudden fixation with the intern was; she wasn't worried, per se. Oh, no. It was simply her looking out for her ex-husband's dirty mistress. And if she thought that was strange, she chalked it up to the comradery. She didn't care what Meredith did, or who she hung out with; she just didn't want to see her get caught back in Derek's _McDreamy_ charm.

Usually, Meredith came in with her friends, so it was odd that they arrived before her. There was nothing to hold her up; she and Meredith had had a working lunch together simply to avoid being stuck at the hospital so late, so there wasn't any reason for the intern to still be there. She took another sip of her wine. Though, maybe Meredith had decided to go home. It wasn't like she had a drink every night. Still, there was this nagging feeling that made her worry.

The bell chimed again, and she looked over, relief flowing through her as she watched Meredith walk through the door. Almost immediately after, she turned her attention back to her wine. Fixation over and done with. So then why did she feel the woman's eyes burning a hole in the back of her head, and why did she decide to turn back towards her? Why was Meredith pointedly ignoring her friends as if she didn't see them; why was she walking towards her instead?

Meredith's blue-green eyes bore into her emerald-green for a fraction of a second longer than needed before the intern spoke, "Is this seat taken?"

Now there were two things she could do here: she could lie, send Meredith off to her friends, pretend that she was waiting for someone - Mark came to mind - or she could tell the truth, let the intern sit beside her, talk the night away. The door chimed again, and she saw Derek's perfect hair out of the corner of her eye.

As she brought her glass up to her lips to take another sip of her wine, she gestured with her free hand, "Sit down, Grey. Get yourself a drink."

The grateful smile on Meredith's lips made her reflexively tighten her grip on her wine glass. Just two sorta-colleagues getting a drink or two. Nothing to get excited over. Yet her mind raced with so many questions. She watched Meredith go to the bar, order her drink, tapping her fingers on the bar while she waited for it. She didn't know what compelled her to watch, but it was odd to say the least. She'd never known Meredith to ignore her friends or vice versa. And yet as Meredith turned with the drinks in her hands, she saw Karev open his mouth, saw Meredith tense, and she turned more fully in her seat to watch. But whatever Karev had said, Meredith chose to ignore, or at least, she didn't see her reply. Meredith returned to her seat, placing another wine in front of her.

"Everything okay?" she started, and Meredith looked up at her, dark eyes clouded with something she wasn't sure how to identify. Still, she pressed on, not wanting to be detoured, "Did you and your friends have a fight?"

"No," Came the swift reply, "They're just being assholes."

Surprised by the bluntness, she nearly spat her drink. It was only years of practice that she coughed it down, wiping at her lips with a napkin, her voice low as she questioned, "Oh?"

Meredith took a sip of her own wine - red, sweet - not her usual choice of alcohol, possibly to delay answering. Finally, she glanced over at her friends, sadness in her eyes, "Yeah."

"All of them?" She pressed gently, and Meredith's gaze swiveled back to her.

"Mostly Alex," Meredith replied, "but the others don't see a problem with what he said, thinks it's hilarious."

"And what did they find so hilarious?" She finished off her second glass and moved on to the one Meredith brought her. Two glasses of wine, and she had no filter. Meredith squirmed slightly in her seat, looking anywhere but her, "Oh come on, Grey, it can't be that bad." Meredith's voice was quiet, too quiet in the crowded bar, even as close as they were. She leaned closer over the table, "What was that?"

Up close like this, Meredith's eyes were nearly blue, "He said that there was obviously another reason for that I asked to join the vagina squad."

"Another reason?" She tilted her head to the side, "You haven't even declared a specialty yet, I don't — _ohhh_." Lightbulb moment. She couldn't keep the smirk off her face, teasing her, "One Doctor Shepherd wasn't enough for you, huh?"

Meredith offered her a withering glare, "You're not Dr. Shepherd anymore."

_And thank God for that_.

"Touché, Grey."

Meredith sighed as she leaned back in her seat, and it was easy to see how the comments got her, "Like I need another reason for the hospital to start another rumor about me."

"At least the hospital's not calling you a dirty mistress anymore."

Meredith snorted, glancing at her again, "No, but if Alex can't keep his mouth shut, I'll be branded as someone who sleeps her way into surgeries."

She held out her glass, clinking it softly with Meredith's, "As if I'd let you into a surgery just because you'd sleep with me. You'd have to know the case, not just get into my pants."

Meredith smiled, amused, "Dr. Montgomery, are you drunk?"

"Drunk? No." She was barely tipsy. She'd had a rough day with the divorce, with the cases, she needed to unwind. She looked over at Meredith through hooded lashes. God, the blonde was gorgeous. _No, bad Addison. Bad_ , "No."

"No?"

"Mmm, just no filter. It takes a lot more than decent wine to get me drunk."

"Is that so? Shots then?"

She arched an eyebrow, "Careful there, Grey. Don't want any rumors floating around."

"Please, if my friends already think we're sleeping together, then what's the harm in drinking something stronger together?"

"You have a point," she paused for a moment before sighing, "Fine, bring on the shots."

There was no way this would backfire.

* * *

The pounding in her head woke her, and she groaned softly at the light coming in through the Archfield's window. Her mouth was dry, and she licked her lips, though it didn't help much. This was why she didn't drink tequila. As she settled back on the bed, hoping to get a few more minutes of sleep, the night came back to her in flashes.

_She matched Meredith shot for shot, laughing at the intern's exuberance. She wasn't sure exactly when the other interns had left, but it suited her just fine. Not that she had any hidden agenda. It was nice to just let loose like this, without a care in the world, and she found that Meredith's company wasn't that bad after all._

Oh, yes, she'd had way too much tequila. She wasn't sure when Joe had cut them off, but neither of them had minded, too enthralled in a drunken conversation that they'd barely noticed; besides, the music had picked up by then and all she'd wanted to do was dance.

_Feeling Meredith shiver as she kept a secure grip on her hips as they danced together. The contentment she felt just letting her guard down, feeling Meredith relaxing against her body, not a care in the world._

_Derek interrupting, accusing them, though what he'd said she didn't know. She never removed her hands from where they rested on Meredith's hips, not that the blonde seemed to care._

" _You don't deserve me, let alone her, so just leave us alone."_

Oh, she'd actually told him that. Well, good, because it was true. And if he'd replied, she didn't remember what he'd said. Probably something egotistical, she was sure. He was such an arrogant prick sometimes.

_Standing out in the rain with Meredith as they waited for a cab. Feeling the alcohol buzzing through her system, making her braver than she normally would be. Getting to the cab with Meredith, giving only the address for the Archfield._

She opened her eyes slowly at that memory, seeing the slim body lying asleep in front of her, a curtain of blonde hair along the pillow. Oh, no. No, no, no.

_Meredith's infectious laughter as she opened the door to the hotel room. Relaxing together on the bed. The laughter dying away as they simply stared at each other in the dark._

_Contentment._

_Desire._

_Her name spilling quietly from Meredith's lips as they were drawn closer together, like two magnets, polar opposites that couldn't help but touch. Gently guiding Meredith closer, until their bodies were touching._

" _I don't know what I'm doing here," Meredith's voice was low in the darkness._

_The smell of alcohol and something belonging uniquely to Meredith invading her senses. Why had she made the decision to bring her here?_

" _Me either," she confessed._

_Meredith's hand found her cheek, and she felt the bed move again, felt Meredith move into her space. The way the intern said her name, softly, hesitantly made up her mind. She closed the distance between them, capturing Meredith's mouth in a gentle kiss, one that quickly became heated._

Fuck, fuck, fuck! She had not slept with her ex-husband's ex-girlfriend on the night of her divorce. Oh no, that would be completely ridiculous. That was the old Addison, impulsive and hungry for someone's touch. Plus, she was still her boss! And never mind what her idiot of an ex had done, she did not cross lines like that, damn it!

* * *

It was the softness of the blankets coupled with the body that was still spooning her that drew Meredith from her call of sleep. She blinked a few times, trying to piece the night together.

_She sighed as she declined the call from Cristina for what had to be the fifth time. She knew that whatever Cristina was going to say wasn't going to sway her anger at Alex. There was a difference between a joke between friends and Alex accusing her of sleeping her way into surgeries. He'd said the same thing when she and Derek had been together, and she thought he'd have grown by now. But no, not Alex. Insinuating that there was something between her and Addison when there was nothing._

The feminine arm that was currently snaked around her waist had her doubting herself instantly. And she would recognize the shade of Addison's hair no matter where she was. Her head was pounding, and as she turned her head slightly, she could make out Addison's features in the morning sunlight. Oh, shit.

_Joe's had alcohol. So, what if her friends were there? She was still angry at them; sure, Cristina and George had backed off on the teasing, but they weren't doing anything to stop Alex or Izzy. She made sure to wait a few extra minutes before walking to Joe's. She almost wished she and Addison hadn't spent their lunch together doing charts so that she would have an excuse to leave late. And while she saw them out of the corner of her eye, she found her attention drawn to Dr. Montgomery. Addison was sitting at a table, seemingly staring off into space. She thought of her speech this morning, something about comradery, sticking together, and she figured it couldn't hurt to ask. If she had to, she'd go sit at a different table. Addison had looked hesitant at first - and really who wouldn't - before she agreed._

She wasn't naked. So despite waking up with Addison spooning her, she knew they hadn't had sex. Her disappointment confused her. Had she wanted to have sex with Addison? She wasn't even gay. Sure, women were hot, and Addison was one of the hottest women she'd seen, but she'd had enough drunken one-night stands, thank you very much.

_She stood, drumming her fingers on the bar while she waited for her drink and Addison's refill._

" _There you go again," Alex's voice made her tense, "Can you at least not bring this Shepherd home?"_

" _You're a pig," she bit back, "and she's not married anymore. It's just Mont…"_

" _Yeah, well, keep Satan away from me." Izzy was the only one who laughed. George looked uncomfortable._

" _Alex, come on…" Cristina started but she'd already walked away. Screw Alex Karev._

_She set the drink in front of Addison with a smile, one Addison returned, making her heart skip several beats._

Okay, so yes, she may have had the tiniest crush on Addison, but she didn't think Addison would ever return her feelings. She felt Addison shift and held still, begging to redhead to stay asleep so she could think of a way out of this mess.

_She didn't even think when Addison asked her to dance, just happily accept her hand. It was nice to just relax, her body practically plastered against the redhead's as they moved together to the beat of the music. She felt Addison's grip on her hips tighten the slightest fraction as Derek appeared in front of them. Of course. Because she couldn't just have a nice night without him interrupting._

Oh, God, the dancing had been amazing. While in that moment, she'd forgotten that Addison was anything other than a dance partner. But they worked together, and she was sure that Derek would be the one spreading the rumor that she and Addison had left the bar together.

_The cab ride was full of stolen glances. She didn't even question Addison giving the cabby the hotel's address, and honestly, she hadn't even cared. She didn't even want to go home where Alex would make comments, and Izzy would laugh and George would shift uncomfortably between them, not wanting to start a fight._

_Addison was in her personal space, but then she was also in Addison's and she was sure personal space had left sometime after the third shot._

She tried to sneak from the bed but had only managed to pull herself from Addison's arms when the redhead began to stir.

" _I don't know what I'm doing here," she confessed. Laying on the bed with Addison, she felt content. It was nice to not have any agenda, to just go at her own pace._

_God, Addison smelled amazing, and she scooted closer just to breathe her in more. It was addicting._

" _Me either," Addison confessed._

_She cradled Addison's cheek, her voice quiet as she said her name. What were they doing here? If this was anyone else, she was sure their clothes would've been long gone by now. She was sure she would've been too._

_Addison caught her lips in a kiss, and she couldn't stop the moan from escaping her lips as she kissed back. It felt like her body was on fire everywhere Addison touched, her fingers running along her back, and she pressed herself closer as they deepened the kiss._

Her face burned as she remembered how wet she'd gotten from just making out. This was why she'd wanted to do the whole celibacy thing. Because she started drinking and then everyone looked porny and she apparently decided that making out with her ex-boyfriend's ex-wife in the aforementioned ex-wife's hotel room was a good idea.

She felt Addison's eyes burning a hole in the back of her head, and she took a low breath before she slowly turned her head, meeting Addison's bewildered eyes.

What the hell were they supposed to do now?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for all the reviews!

Meredith had done the awkward morning after plenty of times. In fact, she’d done it with a lot of different people over the years; most notably were the times with Sadie and then Derek years later. She knew what to expect, had gotten good at reading a person’s body language. There was hardly any time for pleasantries or well-wishes, just a quick “hi and bye” type of deal; besides, the conversations were dull and never led to anything except fueling her innate desire to flee immediately. The majority of the time, she’d never see the person again - even though that hadn’t been the case for either Sadie or Derek. So, she knew what to expect from this awkward morning after with Addison. 

And sure, okay, they hadn’t had sex, but they’d had a pretty heavy make-out session from what she could remember. And, to her, that counted as an awkward morning after. How could it not have been? She and Addison weren’t exactly friends; before last night, they hadn’t hung out after work. In fact, yesterday was the first time they’d had lunch together, albeit a working lunch.

Her head was pounding from her hangover, and she wished that she hadn’t drank as much as she had. Except, if she hadn’t, she wasn’t sure if she’d had ended the night in Addison’s bed. No, she knew she wouldn’t have.

_Addison, right_.

She focused her attention back on the redhead, muting the swirling thoughts in her head. Any minute now, they’d stop staring at each other with complete bewilderment and actually start speaking to each other, she was sure of it.

The early morning light cast a warm halo-like glow over the neonatal surgeon, and she couldn’t stop her cheeks from darkening. Honestly, could this woman look any more like a Goddess? All she wanted to do was relive the memories from last night, pull the redhead close and kiss her again.

_No, bad Meredith, bad._

She should want to leave, remove herself as far from the impending conversation as possible. It was what she did. She ran. Commitment, love, everything that would eventually come back and bite her in the ass later. It was her way of protecting herself. So then why was she so hesitant to do so? She was desperately trying to gather her thoughts when Addison spoke.

* * *

Honestly, Addison couldn’t quite explain her lapse of judgment last night. She was normally good at keeping things professional between coworkers, especially with interns, but last night she’d let her guard down. She was sure had it been any intern other than Meredith, she wouldn’t have. She’d willingly opened the door with the blonde. She’d put her on her service; she’d had the working lunch; she’d invited her to sit with her in the bar; she’d drank with her and danced with her; she’d kissed _her_. So, yes, this entire thing - waking up in her bed with Meredith Grey - was her fault. Though, she supposed it was better than Mark. Mark would’ve wanted sex, and she was in no mood for that on the night of her divorce. And that was the entire point of inviting Meredith to sit with her last night, so she didn’t have a sudden lapse in judgment. Though remembering last night, she had to admit that her lapse in judgment had happened regardless.

Meredith’s gaze was miles away, the blonde lost in thought, and she said the only thing that came to her mind, “You look like your thoughts are running a mile a minute.”

Meredith blinked back at her, seemingly shocked that she’d spoken at all.

“Oh I uh…” Meredith caught her lower lip between her teeth, a nervous energy radiating off her, not that she could blame her. She was nervous too, unsure of what, if anything, this meant, “I should go before I’m late for rounds.”

She fought to keep the smile off her lips, “I can give you a ride home.”

“No, that’s okay. I can call a cab,” Despite the finality of Meredith’s words, she didn’t attempt to leave the bed. Not that she could blame her. The sheets were extremely soft.

“Are you sure?” She questioned, the tone of her voice dropping slightly, “I don’t mind.”

The conflict shone on Meredith’s face, and if she was trying to hide it, she was failing miserably.

“Last night shouldn’t have happened,” the blonde replied.

“No, it shouldn’t have,” she agreed gently. She saw Meredith relax and pressed on, “but it did. Even if I can’t remember it all.” And really, she wanted to remember more than flashes of the night. 

Meredith’s eyes were full of something she wasn’t sure how to identify as she answered, “Me either.” There was a beat and then, “Addison,” Meredith began, and she couldn’t stop the way she smiled. How could someone simply saying her name make her heartbeat quicken?

“Meredith,” she replied back. She gazed into Meredith’s eyes, and almost instinctively, shifted closer. She couldn’t help the way she was drawn to Meredith. Ever since the moment they first met, she’d felt that attraction. She’d denied it for so long. 

“We shouldn’t,” Meredith’s breath was warm on her lips.

Her own voice comes to her mind, a sudden memory from last night.

_“We shouldn’t be doing this,” Her voice was low, and the intern took the opportunity to press kisses against her neck, hoping to distract her. And it was working, “Mmm, Meredith, we shouldn’t.”_

“Why not?” She muttered softly.

_“Give me one good reason why,” Meredith replied._

“Because...rounds?” Came Meredith’s shaky voice, hesitant, unsure. 

_“We are both very drunk,” Came her quick reply._

“Rounds?” She repeated softly.

_“It’s not like you’re taking advantage of me, Addie.”_

“Addison, I…” Meredith’s voice was strained, pained, like she was holding herself back from what she’d wanted to do.

_She rested her hand against the blonde’s cheek, and Meredith turned into the touch, “I know.”_

“I know,” she pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Meredith’s mouth, “I know.”

* * *

Meredith sighed softly as she lowered her mask and removed her scrub cap as she left OR 3 to scrub out. The morning had passed like a blur, and surgery had been the furthest thing from her mind. She felt like a ping-pong ball, bouncing back and forth between Attendings all day, and it was never the one she was both excited to see and eager to avoid.

The surgery she’d just done with Callie, a teenager with two shattered femurs after she was hit by a car, had gone remarkably smooth. Normally, she would’ve been happy with the results. But the resulting surgery had been right on the heels of a plastics surgery she’d assisted Mark on, and she was exhausted. She’d been on her feet going on 12 hours, and she was desperate to go home and sleep. 

She’d never realized just how exhausting being a surgeon was. Her mother never seemed tired, (though, admittedly, she never saw much of Ellis growing up) and all the Attendings and residents made 18 to 24 hour days seem like a walk in the park. As she caught sight of the clock, she saw that quitting time was just around the corner. Honestly, whoever decided that 16 hour shifts were a good idea needed to be shot. She just wanted to find an on-call room and sleep the rest of her shift. But just as the thought crossed her mind, her pager went off again.

Holding back a groan, she glanced at it.

_Labs, 5 minutes, Derek_

This time, she did groan aloud. The last thing she wanted to do right now was get in on a neuro case. Still, she dutifully made her way to the _Labs_ area, hoping that the meeting with her ex-boyfriend would be brief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter is a bit shorter, but I’m going to get more into what happened next chapter! Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: We get more into what happened last night with Derek in this chapter, but not too much because he’s not even the focus of the story lol

“Dr. Grey,” Derek greeted her as she entered the lab where he was standing. Two different CT scans were on the light screen in front of him.

“Dr. Grey? Yesterday it was Meredith,” she replied, reminding her of the morning after their one-night stand. _Dr. Shepherd? Last night it was Derek_.

She shook her head to rid herself of the memory. She and Derek weren’t together anymore so what did it matter?

He barely spared her a glance, ignoring her response as if she hadn’t spoken at all, beckoning her to the screen, “What do you see here?”

She stepped closer, grateful for the opportunity to learn, even if it was from Derek, “Looks like an aneurism.”

Derek glanced at her from the corner of his eye, a look of pride flickering on his face before it vanished, “It’s in a risky spot, and I could use an extra set of hands. Want in?”

For a moment, she considered it. Neurosurgery was definitely an interesting specialty, after all. But it was at least a 4-hour surgery, and she’d just scrubbed out of Callie’s not even 10 minutes ago. She was _tired_ , even if she didn’t want to acknowledge it.

“Actually, I have to do some post-ops for Mark and Callie,” she replied, “I just finished a surgery with Callie, so by the time I finish with Mark’s post-op, I’ll have time to check on Callie’s before I leave for the night,” It wasn’t a lie, but with the way Derek was looking at her — turned towards her now with the barest hint of resentment in his eyes — she was sure he didn’t believe her, “If that’s all, Dr. Shepherd, I’ll be getting to my post-ops.”

He didn’t try to stop her, much to her relief. As she rounded the corner towards the nurse’s station to get the post-op charts, she collided with another doctor. She stumbled back, nearly losing her balance in the process. She started to apologize, but the words died in her throat as she looked up into dark green eyes and realized just who she was talking to.

* * *

Addison didn’t particularly enjoy random pages from her now-ex-husband. Sure, they didn’t always banter back and forth, and they still sometimes worked well together. But it wasn’t something she looked forward to. Especially when he asked her to come to the _Labs_ area as she was scrubbing out of a 3-hour long surgery where she’d nearly lost the patient, a preemie baby that had barely managed to pull through. Still, she finished scrubbing out, updated the parents, and then made her way to the _Labs_ area. 

As she rounded the corner, lost in her thoughts about what Derek could possibly want, she collided into the lithe body of another doctor, and the sudden smell of lavender wafted over her. Just the person she’d been waiting to see all day today. An amused smile slipped onto her lips as Meredith launched into an apology that died as she realized it was her. She wasn’t sure it was even possible for someone’s face to go that red, but the scarlet blush that spread across pale cheeks was almost endearing.

“D-Doctor Montgomery!” Did Meredith even realize she stuttered when she was nervous?

“Dr. Grey,” she greeted, “And here I was wondering if you were avoiding me after last night.”

It was as though the world had stopped around them. She delighted in the small shiver that she saw race along Meredith’s spine at the reminder of this morning. It was good to know she wasn’t the only one affected by whatever was happening between them. 

“No, I, that is, I’ve had back-to-back surgeries today,” Meredith answered.

“I know,” she replied, “I saw the board.” And she was uncharacteristically jealous that her two friends had spent a combined total of 7 hours with the blonde intern while she had Stevens instead; mentally shaking the thought from her head, she continued, “I didn’t mean to knock into you.”

“I’m fine,” came Meredith’s reply. And unwillingly, her mind went back to last night.

_Hesitantly, she reached out for Meredith’s hand, gently pulling her onto the dance floor. No one cared, either too inebriated or enchanted by one another to look their way. Meredith wove her arms around her neck as a slow dance started, smiling without a care in the world. Her hands found a comfortable spot resting on the intern’s hips, as they gently swayed to the music. It was relaxing; it was perfect; Meredith’s eyes danced with something mischievous as she met her gaze._

_“What are you two doing?”_

_It was Derek’s voice that broke their intense gaze._

_“Dancing,” Meredith answered, tightening her grip just slightly as she leaned in closer to her, as if Derek would force them apart. As if she’d let him._

_“Dancing?” Derek replied, as if he never heard of it before, “With each other? And how long has this been going on?”_

_She rolled her eyes, tightening her grip on Meredith, “Go away, Derek. We’re having fun.”_

_“You two really get around, you know? What’s next, a candlelit dinner? Or are you going to find Mark so he can ‘have fun’ with you too?” Jealousy didn’t look good on Derek at all._

_Meredith flinched as if struck, and she realized that he’d obviously said something similar to her before._

_“Go away, Derek,” she hissed out again, more forceful this time, “You’re just jealous that we don’t need you to have fun,” he opened his mouth to retaliate but she immediately cut him off, “You don’t deserve me, let alone her, so just leave us alone.”_

_He stalked away angrily, not bothering to spare either of them a second glance._

_Meredith’s voice was soft, “Thank you.”_

_She smiled sweetly at the blonde, “He had it coming. How about one more song and then we get out of here, yeah?”_

_Meredith smiled back at her, and she felt her heartbeat quicken, “I’d like that.”_

“Penny for your thoughts?” Meredith’s voice pulled her from the memory, and she glanced down at the blonde.

She hummed softly, “No, it’s nothing, just something from last night.”

“Oh,” Meredith replied but didn’t say anything else.

There was a small pause, before she continued, “I’ve got to go answer a page. Maybe I’ll see you at Joe’s again tonight, Dr. Grey?”

“I’ve got post-ops, but after that, I’ll be there, yeah.”

“Good,” she smiled to hide her nerves, “I’ll see you then.”

“Okay,” Meredith’s smile was shaky.

“Okay.”

She stepped past the blonde and made her way down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading this quick chapter! More to come!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the reviews! Here’s another quick chapter!

“Izzy said you didn’t come home last night,” Alex says without preamble as he entered the intern locker room. 

She didn’t acknowledge him. In fact, at this moment, she would’ve been fine ignoring him until they were no longer interns. Memories from yesterday played through her head, and his presence only made her angrier. He had yet to apologize for his insensible and lewd comments, and though they didn’t bother her as much as piss her off, she was in no mood to socialize with him. 

She continued to gather her things as she changed from her scrubs into everyday clothes, hoping that he would just leave her alone. But, unfortunately, he didn’t want to let it go.

“Look,” he continued gruffly, an annoyed sigh slipping through his lips, “I’m sorry, alright?”

She looked up at him briefly before kneeling down to tie her shoes, “What are you sorry for?”

“You know, for saying all that stuff,” he looked uncomfortable, but she still wasn’t convinced he was remorseful. 

She’d tried to ignore the comments he’d made yesterday, but all it did was make her more aware of the stares at work. While she never let them bother her, she knew that the nurses were gossiping about her. The intern who sleeps with a married Attending; the homewrecker; the slut. She took it all in stride, even though the comments stung. She hadn’t known Derek was married, but other people had. And they had done nothing to stop her from starting a relationship with him. Though she supposed that had been a moot point in the end; the moment Addison had walked in and introduced herself, Derek had stopped existing in her mind at all, even if it had taken her appendectomy for her to realize it. He liked to blame Addison for all of his marital problems, and, yes, Addison had cheated, but how could he ignore her in the first place? And when he’d finally come around and acknowledged his mistakes in their marriage, he had still tried to choose her over Addison, while he was still married. How could he do that? To either of them? She certainly wouldn’t have. Because Addison was… 

“So, I am forgiven or wherever?” Alex’s voice broke her from her thoughts, and she realized that she hadn’t heard anything of what he’d just said.

Fleetingly, she had the urge to tell him to repeat himself or just forgive him to make life easier on them all. It was better if they stuck together. And yet, his comments had hurt worse than any rumor, though she tried not to dwell on the reason. Because she knew the reason why.

_ “Come on, what was the real reason you asked Bailey to be on the vagina squad? Hm? You just move from one Shepherd to the next.” Her friends had laughed, thinking he was joking, but she could see the malice in his eyes. He was jealous of the attention she was getting, whether it be from Derek’s constant attempts to win her back, or any Attending even thinking of putting her on their service. It wasn’t her fault people considered her more because she had Ellis Grey as a mother. George and Cristina had gotten pages around that time, so they hadn’t heard the rest of what he’d said. She opened her mouth to rebuttal his claims but he pressed on, almost to impress Izzy, “No wonder you won’t pick a specialty. Too busy trying to decide which Attending to screw next, so you can get in on their surgeries.” _

That was what had pissed her off the most. She may have considered neurology because of Derek, but she hadn’t traded sex for surgery; she’d hadn’t even know Derek was a surgeon when they first met. All of the specialties were interesting, so what did it matter if she was taking an interest in neonatal? Addison was the only Attending that didn’t have some grand camaraderie with Derek, that didn’t make her feel like everything she said would get back to him somehow.

“No,” she answered simply, and when he opened his mouth, she continued, “I get that you’re sorry, but I still need time. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t mean it or expect me to take it so seriously.”

“Mer, come on,” frustration bled its way into Alex’s voice, and she barely hid her smile. Now, that felt nice.

She stood as she grabbed her purse, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Are you at least going to be home tonight so Iz and Bambi don’t have to worry?”

“I don’t know,” she replied honestly, though she was hoping that Addison would take her back to the Archfield again. It was the best sleep she’d gotten in awhile, and it had more to do with who she was sleeping next to than anything else.

Without waiting for an answer, she made her way from the room, tequila from Joe’s sounding more and more appealing.

* * *

Despite Addison’s reassurance that she’d be at Joe’s, Meredith had already downed her fifth shot as she contemplated whether or not this counted as being stood up. She’d settled on sitting at the bar tonight, and she didn’t speak other than to thank Joe for each new shot. It burned on the way down, but it was definitely good; and after the day she’d had, she deserved a little good. She’d been here going on half an hour, and still, there was no sign of Addison. There was no sign of her friends either, though that was probably Alex’s doing. He’d more than likely told them that she was still mad at them, which wasn’t true. Alex, yes. But the others? Not at all, with the very possible exception of Izzy; she and Alex had been as thick as thieves lately, and it was making her a tad uneasy. As much as she was a loner, she’d gotten used to people around her; so to sit at the bar with no one to talk to, she was getting lonely.

As she downed her six shot, the bell above the door chimed, but she didn’t look - didn’t need to - as the hair on the back of her neck stood up. So, when Addison settled into the seat beside her, a hand coming to rest against her back as a way of greeting, she didn’t bother to look over.

“There you are,” she said, just barely loud enough to be heard over the music.

“Here I am,” Addison answered with a smile, “I got caught up with my post-ops. I see you’ve started without me.”

She turned to look at her, a genuine smile appearing on her face for the first time all night, “Well, what else is there to do in a bar?”

Addison didn’t answer and ordered herself a few tequila shots, setting her purse down on the stool beside her, “Touché, Grey. Are you sure you want to stick to shots?”

Memories of last night were still filtering through her mind. The contentment she’d felt as they danced together. The beating of her heart when they got in the cab. Addison lips on hers. The last one made her shiver. She smirked, feeling the dizzying effects of the alcohol coursing through her, “I’m sure.”

Addison studied her for a moment after she downed her first two shots, wincing slightly, “And you won’t regret this in the morning?”

She studied her right back, feeling bolder, “Will you?”

Addison hummed softly and answered without missing a beat, “No.”

“Good,” she replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review this chapter! More to come!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m having so much fun writing this fic. Thanks for all the reviews! I’m sorry for not replying to all of them. Here’s another chapter!

The ringing of a cell phone pulled Addison from the fog of sleep. She reached out blindly for the device, only to realize it wasn’t hers that was going off. And as the memories of last night trickled slowly from her subconscious, she heard Meredith groan at the noise; she opened her eyes as Meredith pulled away from her, though it was just long enough to grab her phone before she was settling back against her again. She blinked sleepily at the blonde as she answered the phone groggily.

“‘Ello?”

She was almost surprised to hear Yang’s voice coming from the device, distorted slightly, but she guessed with Meredith so close to her, the sound wouldn’t be too hard to hear, “Where are you? We were supposed to go jogging this morning.”

Meredith hummed sleepily and relaxed further against her, “Was sleeping.”

She trailed a hand down Meredith’s arm, just to watch her shiver slightly at the contact. 

“Did you go home with Satan again last night?” She smirked at the comment. It was nice to know that Derek’s nickname had taken on a different meaning with the interns. While he may have used it maliciously, as a way to spite her, the interns truly did fear her, at least a little bit. 

Meredith huffed, drawing her from her thoughts, “Don’t call her that.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Yang waited a moment and then, “Are you still there?”

“Cristina, I was sleeping; of course I’m still here.”

“Well, is she there too? Is she awake?”

Meredith sighed again, “Cristina…”

“Fine, fine. Don’t answer. I’ll let you get back to sleeping with —.”

“Don’t,” Meredith cut her off.

“I’ll see you at the hospital.” Meredith hummed her agreement and ended the call.

How the phone made it back on the table was a mystery to her, because almost immediately, Meredith flopped back on the bed dramatically, turning to glance at her through sleepy eyes. She almost wished she minded. But after two nights in a row of her and Meredith’s drunken make-out sessions, she’s let her guard down. There was an obvious spark between them but neither wanted to make the first move for fear of pushing the other away. It was plausible deniability if she ever saw it. They weren’t sleeping together, at least not in the biblical sense. Even so, it was very much a friends with benefits situation, even if both terms were used loosely. They weren’t friends; they were coworkers. And the only true benefit was waking up next to someone, something they were both sorely lacking.

“So, today you want to go back to sleep?” She joked. With how fast Meredith had bolted yesterday morning, she was honestly expecting the same thing today.

“Five more minutes,” Came the sleepy reply.

She looked at the clock and decided that giving Meredith 10 instead wouldn’t make her late for rounds. And if she was late, she had a good excuse.

* * *

Meredith leaned against the wall slightly as she and the others waited for Bailey to deliver their assignments for the day. She wasn’t sure if she could handle doing another rotation between Attendings again. Yeah, she got some kickass surgeries, but she would’ve rather just had one Attending to do post-ops for. And one Attending in particular. 

“O’Malley, cardio,” Bailey called out, and she stood up straighter, “Stevens, neuro,” she tried not to breath out a sigh of relief, “Yang, you get ortho. Do _not_ try to switch with O’Malley. Grey, you get to deliver babies today. Karev, get to the pit.”

“I was wondering if Mer and I could swap,” Alex spoke up as Bailey started to walk away.

Bailey stopped and turned on him, glaring, “No swapping. Now get moving!”

She didn’t miss the annoyed glare Alex shot her away, but she ignored him, making her way to the OB ward. She had a neonatal surgeon to find. She tried not to think of the swarm of butterflies that erupted in her stomach at the thought of Addison, the way her palms started to sweat slightly.

* * *

Addison caught the movement at the end of the ward out of the corner of her eye, and she lifted her head, immediately finding Meredith making her way towards her. She smiled softly, and then schooled her features. This was the hospital. She had to be professional. 

“Dr. Grey,” she said in greeting, “I see you drew the short straw.”  
  
Meredith laughed softly, “This doesn’t look anything like the pit.”

“True,” she replied, “I’ve just got a few C-sections scheduled for today. So, it seems like a super easy day.”

“Great,” Meredith answered with her own smile.

She hated how that smile made her weak.

* * *

There are moments in life that are unexplained. Occurrences that happen without warning that change how we perceive things.

“No heartbeat.”

We have many responses to those occurrences, what we call the five stages of grief. Many people make it to acceptance quicker than others, while some get stuck on the other four, the most often being denial.

“Start chest compressions.”

We never know which one we’ll fall under until we’re in that moment. Whether we’ll eventually accept it…

“Call it.”

Or continue to deny it… 

“Time of death 20:38.”

* * *

Meredith scrubbed out with pristine focus. Her thoughts were muted. The only thing she could focus on was that the surgery had failed. It had been a simple surgery. The mother had an abnormal uterus, so she and her husband knew that there was a chance that she’d go into labor early. And she had. The baby had to be delivered via c-section 3 months early.

The surgery had gone well, nearly perfect. But when the baby girl had come out, there was no heartbeat. And despite every attempt to get it back, they weren’t able to save her. And it hurt; God, had it hurt. 

The next thing to do was notify the parents, but Addison had already gone to do that. Briefly, she’d seen the redhead scrub out, but then she was gone. 

She sighed as she finished scrubbing out, wishing that she could just go home. Losing a patient was hard, but losing a baby was ten times worse. With less than a half hour left in her soft, she had just enough time to finish Addison’s post-ops; hopefully, they wouldn’t take too long. She was lucky she had the next couple days off. It would give her time to get her head on straight. Or drink herself in oblivion. Whichever she felt more like doing.

As she stepped out of OR 4, she saw Addison making her way back towards her.

“I’m about to go do your post-ops, Dr. Montgomery,” She said, almost on autopilot, as Addison came into ear shot.

“It’s fine,” Addison waved her off, “I’ve got Stevens and Yang on it.” She opened her mouth to rebut that, but Addison cut her off, “Mark and Callie owed me,” For what, she wasn’t sure, but Addison continued before she could think about it too much, “Let’s get out of here.”

“But,” She started.

“Grey,” Addison cut her off, and she immediately shut her mouth, “It’s fine. Go change, and I’ll meet you in the front lobby, alright?”

“Okay,” She answered.

* * *

Addison tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for Meredith. She didn’t expect the intern to be any longer than a few minutes, but it was pushing twenty now, and she was getting a tad worried. She had considered paging her but decided against it. After all, she’d told Meredith that she was off the clock, so paging her wouldn’t be right. 

But as she looked up from checking her watch again, Meredith came around the corner, back in her street clothes.

“There you are,” she said, “I was starting to get worried.”

“Yeah, I uh,” Meredith paused, a soft blush coming onto her cheeks, “I needed to go see the babies.”

“The babies?” she questioned, curious.

“On the maternity ward,” the blonde clarified, “When I’ve had a bad day, I like to go up and watch them. It’s calming,” When she didn’t immediately respond, Meredith backtracked, “That’s probably really weird, huh?”

“No,” she soothed her softly, “It’s not weird at all. How about we get a late dinner?”

“And then Joe’s after?”

She smiled, “I was thinking about room service at the hotel and renting a movie. You know, to give our livers a break.”

“Oh, uh,” Meredith’s confusion was almost adorable, as though she thought that the only thing she’d wanted to do was get drunk with her at Joe’s, “Are you sure?”

“There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing, Meredith,” She started towards the front doors, “You coming?”

She heard Meredith breath a quiet sigh before she answered, “Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading this chapter! More to come!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter. More to come.


End file.
